Ben and I just bought a couch. We previously took turns on our one and only arm chair while watching movies. That arm chair has now been moved to a new spot for reading and quiet morning coffee drinking.
This couch, a symbol to me of our adulthood, one of our largest pieces of furniture, means that we are finally settling into our apartment. All of our possessions can no longer fit into the trunk of our car. We can no longer move at a moment’s notice, we are putting down roots.
What is adulthood?
I added a photo of the couch on Instagram and mentioned that we were #adulting. What does this really mean, this elusive thing that is adulthood? Every so often on Facebook I see articles that try to tell us how we can know that we are adults. You know you’re an adult when… They usually give silly examples of adulthood like: eating ice cream for every meal, or staying in bed all day. So being an adult equals gluttony and laziness? Sounds fun…
As funny and entertaining as these lists can be, I think they hold a certain amount of truth in them.
When you take responsibility for yourself.
These posts, while sometimes being true (Yes, I have eaten cookies for breakfast.) are often just a caricature of what our adult lives are like. However, what I would like to focus on is the fact that they all more or less center around the fact that we become responsible for our lives when we become adults.
For better or worse, we are now in charge of cleaning up our own messes, feeding ourselves, and taking care of ourselves. We are in charge of the direction of our lives, and what we will make of ourselves. Hopefully we have had good role models along the way who have helped to form us into conscientious adults.
Is It One Moment?
Maybe something seemingly small as buying a couch, or as big as moving out of your parents house is what makes you realize that adulthood has finally settled upon you.
For me I think the moment that I realized that I was on my own, was when I first moved to California for college. My mom and aunt left after helping me move in, I went to my room and cried. I felt very alone. I was surrounded by new potential friends, but I still felt a stark difference between having Mom there with me and having her go back across the country. It was now up to me to make friends, get my school work done, get myself to class. Even the things that my mom would do for the family like cooking dinner and grocery shopping were now on my shoulders.
That first quarter of school was really hard, I did a lot of growing, things like sharing a space with five other girls, and balancing my schedule. I think that those early experiences helped me to clarify in my mind what I wanted out of life, and the steps that I needed to take to get there. Continuing to grow and learn more about myself each day is still something that I experience. I don’t think that #adulthood is so much a state that we reach, but rather the process that allows us to continue growing, changing, so that we can become the best versions of ourselves.
Did you have a moment when you knew that you were an adult?